Yes you are needed, could you ever think for a moment you werent? Or loved? Or wanted? Sometimes we are blinded by our own torment. Im never not here, sometimes I am quieter, sometimes a whisper, but there is never a time that you cannot reach me. Never a time I will not listen if you need me, or be there..here..when you call. Always remember that I am never far away..

..and always remember to smile.

How may times must we sail towards the shore before we can finally set foot upon it? How many times will I drift one way, seeming to have a destination, even if somewhat loose in its definition, and drift back out again before I will reach somewhere that seems to be...at least a waypoint.

When I stop to look in, my heart aches, it just aches. Its a bittersweet mix and swirl. One half yearns only to stay, to see, to touch and to know. The other half fights as hard as it can to flee, already has too much been lost to ever regain again. Why is it that the flight in me always wins. Is there that little left to tether my rope to harbour?

I seem to have taken a little of it with me, and perhaps that is what keeps me away. How do you fade, when you cant let go, and how do you return, when you cannot stop running.

I stir, do I stir? Maybe I am, though I am not sure how concious it makes me, and even in my waking moments, there is a weight that rests just above my stomach, pushing it down into depths unknown. A little guilt of my own making I think. I have abandoned people to their fates, and stolen mine from the line. I've not an excuse to whisper. I have reasons, but they are my own, and are of little reconcile to those I have hurt.

I miss the good times, they seem to have been resigned to the distant past, only a memory and no longer a reality. I miss the people, the fun, the tears...ahh alas. Enough, I am as much a culpret as I am a victim, remeniscing will get us nowhere.

It is surprising, the people you really miss. The ones that play on your thoughts while you are away. It shows you a few things, tells you the truth of your own heart. How many have we lost along the way? Never to steal back into our lives?

Pfft, enough melencholy.

I wish you well Valorn, and will visit as and when my courage returns to do so...I hope.

As for those I love...you know who you are. I miss you all more than you will ever know.